I’ve really needed a friend..

These past few days have been rather odd for me. I started slipping back to my old self, my old horrid way of thinking. I’ve really needed a friend, my best friends are absolute diamonds and one of those diamonds has really kept me going lately. We all need friends that know exactly what to say and when to say it, but even when they have no clue what to say they still listen and that’s what I appreciate most.

My diet has been going well and I’ve lost 3lbs! I lose and gain weight very easily so let’s hope those 3lbs are gone forever. 

I didn’t eat very much today but I haven’t really been feeling myself. I’m not finding it at all hard eating basically the same things every day which I expected to get bored of.

My dog went to the vet!

Rosie went to the vets as she isn’t losing any weight and her breathing is very weird. They said she has a heart murmur 😦 I’ve suspected this for a long time but of course no one listened to Dr. Ems. 

Apart from that, nothing much happened today. I’ve got to be up early for the doctors and then I have my interview at 4pm! All which I’ll talk about tomorrow. So I’m going to try and get an early night, which is going to be very hard since I have run out of the tablets that combat the insomnia I get that’s caused by the sertraline. x

Nothing much has happened today 

I’m sad :(

Not gonna be a proper blog post tonight because I’ve not been feeling my best. I don’t want to go into it too much but an emptiness came back. The feeling of just being nothing, irrelevant, forgotten and not know what to do with yourself next. I’ll never understand why good people get treated so bad, so unfair. I’ll never ever understand why I’ve been hurt like this, why me and my issues couldn’t have been nurtured and protected like fine china or the flowers trying to hold on through autumn. When my heart is filled with nothing but love, kindness and honesty (and maybe sass).

Moving swiftly on because I’d rather not think about it before the next wave comes.

I actually couldn’t start my diet plan Tuesday! I completely forgot that I was planning to start this the day of my mums birthday and I was treating the family to a meal out. And no I didn’t forget my mums birthday I just didn’t think when I was planning, which day to start my diet on.

I did however eat my planned breakfast and lunch! I had never tried rye bread and I was pleasantly surprised. I don’t know how to explain the flavour but it is quite unique. The rye bread paired rather oddly with the cheese triangles but I did enjoy it!

For a snack I had one of my little prepared bags of candy floss grapes. I think they taste like candy floss at first but the taste quickly moves on to that of regular green grapes. My sister tried 2 and spat both out, which I was surprised by because I thought they tasted lovely. I gave her the second grape to try because I was certain she must have tried a rotten one the first time, but apparently not.

This is when I remembered we were going out for dinner…

We went to Toby Carvery and I stuffed myself with a plate of a mixture of meats, two Yorkshire puddings, stuffing & some of the lovely creamy potato dish they had.

We of course had to eat birthday cake didn’t we. So I had a slice of the Cadbury Flake cake.

I didn’t eat past 21:00 which is a miracle for me and I worked out that I surprisingly only went over the amount of calories I would have preferred to consume by around 200. I was shocked at this because I felt like I ate so much and I could have easily consumed so many more calories. I haven’t set myself a specific total caloric intake but I need to make sure I’m in a calorie deficit, so I’m hoping to stay 1,400 or under which I should be for the rest of the week.

I’ve taken my tablets for tonight and I’m hoping to head straight to sleep. One can dream. x